What If It Never Happened?

I wake to harsh lights and squeaky shoes

It takes time to clear my mind and remember,

They wheeled me back from the theatre

A tortuous and distressing day in September.

***

I climb from the bed, no soreness of any kind

And quietly slip out the room and head for the door,

Eyes on the prize, trying not to flee, walk normally

Not the first time as I definitely been here before.

***

I glance down to see I’m in my jeans and sweater

Not a nightgown or that horrid gown given to me,

I slip quietly and invisibly down a number of corridors

Finally finding the front door that will set me free.

***

I look around as I’m standing on those scary steps

The decision made, unmade and made once more,

I walk backwards, slowly retracing my foot prints

Where my oldest Sister is waiting, holding the door.

***

All in reverse, we follow the roads of the drive in

Back to the caravan park and my sister’s bus,

Mysteriously the door opens wide as I watch

I move inside, knowing there’s nothing to discuss.

***

I climb into bed, turn to the wall and close my eyes

I wake to a sunny day, 24 hours after my torment,

I search my own body expecting soreness and pain

And I dug through my heart, unsure what it all meant.

***

I feel normal, still carrying my love deep inside

The trial, the tribulation, the decision I made so young,

Didn’t happen, decision and consequences reversed

Life is beautiful again, now my mistake is undone.

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Originally posted on Medium