(what does it mean) to put you first?

why is it so easy to put ourselves last?

to repeatedly place ourselves

at the back of the line

so everyone else has it easier

why is it so simple, so natural

to take a step back

and let others through?

in the grand scheme of our human lives

we will be all we are left with

the last thing we’ll feel and see

and love

will be ourselves

if this is the case

why do we always choose to tolerate?

why do we take what we shouldn’t?

why do we laugh when nothing is funny?

why do we bask in discomfort

for the sake of others?

why is it always okay

to let things slide

when it’s us?

why is it so expected

to let things go?

because it’s fine

it’s not a big deal

it’s never a big deal

until it happens to someone else

someone we love

all of a sudden

it’s everything

and it should be

but are we not a loved one

to ourselves?

why is it okay to treat ourselves worse

than those we love?

why is what other people may feel

weighed more heavily in our minds

than what we do?

are they more important than we are?

are they better?

more deserving?

why?

what makes them more worthy?

truly—what makes it so?

they can be loved

to the moon and back

they can be everything to us

but no one is more important

than you

and what you want

in your own life

just as they should love themselves

as we encourage them to

and put themselves first

and follow their dreams

let their hearts guide them

and pave their way

and hold themselves up high

and love themselves

unconditionally

so should we

but do we?

I think we try to

we read and recite these self-love lines

we try to accept our worth

our value

we nod and wave it off

sure, we matter

we deserve grace

we deserve comfort

we deserve love

sure

we do

it’s true

because it’s rational

and hypocritical

to think otherwise

but still

when it matters most

when we find ourselves dying inside

at another’s hand

we stay silent

why?

why do we stay silent?

I don’t want to hurt them

we say

while the knife is still in our gut

I don’t want to be difficult

the open wound

still bleeding

for all to see

It’s fine

we’re fine

but how long can it last this way?

when we allow others

to trod all over our hearts?

why do we nod when we want to scream

no

I don’t agree

I don’t like this

I don’t want this

stop it

why is stop it

selfish?

stop it

is never selfish

I’m uncomfortable

is never selfish

I don’t want you to

is never selfish

boundaries are never vain

or viciously self-serving

speaking up for ourselves

is never wrong

and upholding our feelings

and treating ourselves like loved ones

is never

ever

undeserved