What Does It Feel Like?

It feels like holding onto the last breath

Waiting to exhale feels impossible

It feels like desperately wishing for air as the sea swallows me

It feels like being slapped across the face

Humiliated by the sting it leaves on my bruised heart

It consumes me, blacking out any clear thoughts

It feels like being left behind

It’s one hell of a problem

A problem I wish to shake, yet it clings like a second skin

A problem that feels like death is sure to arrive

A problem I did not know could alter my perception

It is invisible

Every symptom attacking my body

I am left with the invisible residue of its presence

The invisible reaction manifests chaos in my soul

Lungs are constantly constricted

Stomach is connected by knot after knot, creating a tangled frenzy

Sneaky tendrils of disarray trap intricate pulses in my nerves

I am a slave to its iron grasp

It feels like rejection, the pressure of being social

It feels like the unknown is absorbing my mind

It brings a new meaning to mind over matter

Does my mind matter?

It is intertwined with losing another family member

There is no escaping the inevitable

My body is weightless, ready to take flight into the wind

As I float, pieces of me are forever scattered

It feels like I can’t

Like I can’t make it out on the other side

I can’t deal

Breathe in, breathe out

It feels like I can’t do it

This is my anxiety