What Am I Looking For?

Steps through my past

calm of my mind

Inside a world unknown

Feelings I cannot hide

Breathing in the cool of the day believing this life does have meaning just as the colors of the luminating sky fill my heart with a feeling unfelt by the waters as I step in

A need to release my tears

To submerge until I reach for your hand

You let go and I drown inside your mind knowing then the reason why I fell into those soulful depths

Seeing what I lost in this moment has changed my colors as I leave behind the tempting waters known as Pain.

Breathless

I hate breathing because the inhales hurt my chest

My soul seems to be draining away like worn away soil

Heavy

Lonely

Needless

I'm just tired

Gone

Seemingly I lost my soul

Not sure when...but it's gone

I left me long ago

Through past interactions

Words

Phrases

Caresses

Kisses

Soul gone

I gave up on something before a real chance was given

Before my thoughts settled before I had time to pause and think what I am really about to lose

The essence of self taken for granted looking for falsified love pretend affection

I needed the unneeded

All because I never gave a chance before I gave up