Wedding Day

I am mourning the loss of men today,

As I wave goodbye to ever being gay;

It’s not acceptable talk at the table,

And my fiancé says she is not able.

I am not unhappy with her in the now,

But I still struggle with knowing how;

To make sense of a past I never had,

Yet a loss that still leaves me sad.

I am not too bitter nor resentful,

Simply wishing for a life more eventful;

With lovers who accepted me back,

And didn’t remind me of what I lack.

But this is a fictious romance,

Stinging because I had my chance;

I was too timid and shy,

To ever ask out a guy.

And now it’s cruel to fetishise,

A life I overromanticise;

I’d feel heartache just the same,

In love that dare not speak its name.

I would be yearning just as bad for lasses,

Forever seeing the empty half of glasses;

I would still struggle with lovelorn,

Forever keening a life I’d mourn.

Today I say farewell in the hope,

That I save myself from the rope;

For if I make a choice at last,

I may weep no more for the past.

#HI