We ate fish on Fridays
"How's Ann getting on?"
On Tuesdays, I bring you fresh battered fish.
Its not Friday, I know, but you do not.
On Saturday I read you crossword clues.
You listen, I think, to my voice.
*
Our son stops by on most Sunday mornings,
And you ask him, on good days, "How is Ann?"
And four times, five times, nine times, thirteen times,
He does not explain that she's dead.
*
On Thursdays, at dusk, I take out the bins,
And you cry in the fast darkening house,
A thin keening, a lament for yourself,
Noticing you are lost, alone.
*
Some days you ask me, angry and frightened,
When I will come back, or where I have gone,
And I am standing in full light, present,
Knowing I am insufficient.
*
On Fridays I take you to the front room,
And we listen to Chuck, Bo and Elvis,
And on the best days, you catch my eye,
And I see you, for a moment,
knowing me.
About the Creator
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Comments (11)
So...I saw this getting mentioned a lot and purposely avoided it...because...I knew...dammit...I knew. Beautiful, but so sad. So true of so many people's experience. That last line is the chef's kiss in a truly accurate, but astonishingly written piece. Sorry I waited so long to read it, but glad I did. Just, yeah.
Gosh this made me so emotional. That ending, that flicker of recognition, hit me so hard. Loved your poem so much!
This is just so heartbreakingly beautiful 🤍 That ending made me full on ugly cry x
This is sadly sweet... beautiful to still share those times together, whether she remembers or not. Great ending... "And on the best days, you catch my eye, And I see you, for a moment, knowing me."
Omg I should not have read this gorgeous heartbreaker right after Celia’s finalist entry in Donna Fox’s challenge 😩😩 back to back tears. This reminds me so much of personal experience ❤️❤️❤️ wonderfully written!
Hannah... I'm speechless. I feel broken, soulless and crushed... I don't know what to do with myself...
You tore my insides apart with the emotion placed in every word. This should have been top story
Wow, this is hard-hitting, Hannah. I know how this feels from experience with my grandparents. Everything from the past seems so intangible, yet also so important in the face of the forgetting. A difficult line to walk, when your emotions threaten to overwhelm you and they don’t understand. As to the feedback you requested, I must say I don’t have much. I think the title and subtitles are my main gripes, as they don’t really serve to support the main theme of the poem. Like, we visit the cause for each one in the first two stanzas, and then there is no more mention of fish or Ann after. I admit to being confused by the title, especially, since the poem seems to dismiss the significance of fish on Fridays in the second line. The second time Fridays comes up in the body of the poem, something else entirely happens, with no reference to fish. I think you could work the poem to so that the fish on Fridays takes on more of a significance, or you could change the title and subtitle. Is this written from real life? Not that I need to know that, but for the purpose of my feedback here, I think it’s pertinent. If yes, I think I was missing some markers of the kind of relationship the speaker has to the ailing person. "Our son" indicates a spouse, but it seemed irrelevant in the grander context of the piece. The FEELINGS of the speaker are important here, more so than the relationship. I think the poem would have more weight if you tied the former to the latter, even if it’s subtle. "Some days you ask me, angry and frightened, When I will come back, or where I have gone, And I am standing in full light, present, Knowing I am insufficient." — This stanza is my favorite. It shines, because it captures the heart of the poem’s emotions. It flows perfectly into the last stanza too. If you brought in more of a focus on the relationship, and tied all that to the title, this poem would be perfect, and done, imo. I truly love what you’ve done here, so far, Hannah, it’s really quite heart-wrenching.
Quite beautiful, this story within the poem. Hearted and subscribed.
This is so raw and poignant. A beautiful poem.
A lovely meditation on a relationship...and great taste in music, too!