Ways To Die While Hunting

No, I don't think that I could make it

I don't have those kind of skills

Some days I can't find my own car keys

I'm not built to hunt and make the kill

I'd be sitting in the tree stand

Taking pictures of the lake

On Amazon, buying lotion for my hands

They're really dry, for goodness sake

I'd just go hungry, without Panera

I love their breaded bowl, with soup

And I love this mountain air, (sniffs)

But tell me, where do you go to poop?

Yeah, and I'm not made for wearin' camo

Those colors don't go with my eyes

Oh no, I just dropped my box of ammo

Which caught that BIG BUCK by surprise

Now, I'm sure I'm over thinking

But it seems, all eyes are fixed on me

And they're staring, without blinking

Maybe I should get out of this tree

No, it's ok, I understand, ya'll, er'

I'll be waiting in the car, (rubbing hands together)

If you need me, feel free to holler

Better yet, I'll be at that corner bar

That we passed a mile back

I know it's somewhere, (waving hand) over yonder

Come and get me when you're done

Oh looky there, (she yelled), another monster