War I’m Fighting

I’m so sick and I’m so tired

So damn tired

I’m fucking exhausted of not feeling like me

You telling me what I should be

Tell me how to dress

Where to sit

How to act

When to speak how to speak

Man my facial expressions aren’t even safe,

just laid back headphones in

just swaying to the rhythm

Clearing the static in my head

Cleansing my soul

and I get hit with the negativity

Like some voodoo whammy

Like getting hit with some black magic

Almost leave me black out tragic

I just dodge and weave

Damn I crawl if I have to

Just escape from here

From this place

I can save myself, no I don’t need your help

Shut your mouth shut your mouth

I can’t take anymore attacks

Please don’t give me any More pain

You don’t understand what you’re sayin

Don’t know what you’re doin to me

Shields up, walls up

Pretend measures of protection

You don’t hurt me, don’t shake me

I say, I say

But my god you don’t know how hard I’ve been fucking trying

Cuz I’ll tear myself apart

Don’t worry though, don’t mind me

You’ve no clue the war I’m always fighting

I try to run and try to hide

Whether in the dark or the light

That girl in the mirror, she follows me

A broken stranger I see,

Break away, break it down

Let it crash and let it fall

All the pretty pieces raining down

Shining, shining

Multiplying

my inadequacies blinding me

Amplifying

Build and break, build and break

I break me down and build it back

This image of me,

But it’s Never enough.

How, tell me how

can I be more but still not enough

I try and I try and I grind so hard

But I never seem to get far

I just wish, I pray

That for one damn day

I could be enough

That you could see me through and through

I tear myself apart for you