Wanting Hurts the Most

I want you to bury me in blankets

And guard me against the dark

I want to dream

In every vivid color of you

I want to dance in stardust covered galaxies with you

I want to dream in the curve of your spine

I want you to sing me lullabies

And sweet nothings

I want to tell you jokes and

Drown in your laughter.

I want to marry you on Monday

And love you every day after.

I want to dream our life together

I want you to tell me

With smiles

How much you love me.

I’ll whisper it back

Every word.

I want to swim in your eyes

And fall asleep in your heartbeat

And drown in your hair.

I want you to die face down in my misery with me…

So I’ll never be alone again.

We could never die

You and I

I love this too much

Every petal of every flower

Every vivid chord of your voice

All curled up in your neck

I want all of you

With all of me.

I want to dream away my heartache

Because as hard as I dream

As hard as I wish

When I wake remembering

The many splendid, sordid things that you are

The vivid colors and subtle sighs

The drowning and living and laughing

As hard and as powerfully as I dream of your laugh

Your smile

Your kiss…

That’s all you are (in fact)

A want.

A lonely wish.