Wanting

I'm not good at this. i wish i was.

Some girls are so, so good, at laughing, talking, touching.

maybe some of them touch you.

but I am so very bad.

maybe it has something to do with the way I can't think straight when you're around.

so bad, at all of it.

I know that, so I stay away, on the edge, there but not.

a shadow, ghost, glimpse of a reflection,

a fleeting thing

there but not living.

the trouble is, I see you and I want to be real.

you make me want to be real.

vibrant.

alive.

I want to be someone you could see, too.

something tangible

I wish you would and I hate how much I wish

It feels foolish. doomed. damned.

but i do.

I want.

as ever, what I can't have.

I want you.