Vocal

I wonder how others read what I write because they don't have the voices speaking these words that I pour my heart into,

Interestingly, I could write scripts and plans but I have issues vocalizing what aches my heart most,

Over explaining and over-sharing whenever I do because I've been lied about so I'm defensively preserving myself,

Soft-spoken and painfully trying to be honest even when I'm not sure I can handle The truth.

All too often the words that I left unspoken could've saved me but The wise learn that listening is always first even if you feel the need to speak.

Let me learn to vocalize,

There are many things I need to speak,

Let me learn to remain calm,

I panic too often and the defenses are getting weak,

The Anxiety is like a big chain I wear and the more people that see the larger it gets,

The one thing I can vocalize at the moment is a conflict best left unknown,

I hate it almost everywhere I want to go home.

The pain I can be vocal about are the things that can not be shown.