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Villanelle for a Visitor

To see nothing and everything

By Vanessa GonzalesPublished 8 months ago Updated 6 months ago 1 min read
Top Story - September 2023
17
Villanelle for a Visitor
Photo by kiwi thompson on Unsplash

For those adrift upon this lonely sphere

The magic’s sometimes passing hard to find

I wonder what we’re even doing here

---

But you’re brand new and everything’s still clear

Without the crushing weight of time and mind

For those adrift upon this lonely sphere

---

What can I show you? What won’t disappear?

To be ephemeral would be unkind

I wonder what we’re even doing here

---

Cities built on cities topple down, I fear

Books and art and song will slip behind

For those adrift upon this lonely sphere

---

All faiths and gods, forbidding and severe

Will spin away like others of their kind

I wonder what we’re even doing here

---

I’ll show it all, the lovely and austere

Before the captive moment can unwind

And let you judge what you are doing here

With those adrift upon this lonely sphere

---

Note: A villanelle is a structured form of poetry with five three-line stanzas and one quatrain. The first and third lines of the first stanza repeat in the remaining stanzas.

surreal poetry
17

About the Creator

Vanessa Gonzales

“Rule one, you have to write. If you don’t write, nothing will happen.” - Neil Gaiman

When I'm not writing, I take photos. You can see them here.

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

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Comments (12)

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  • Daphsam4 months ago

    Beautiful work!

  • Excellent work, I think this is the only villanelle that has been awarded a Top Story

  • Joelle E🌙7 months ago

    This is just transcendent. I love this poem so much. U exceeded expectations 🩷 aka, u understood the assignment 😉💃🏽

  • This is an awesome poem. The structure and repetition do a great job of spiralling the reader around the musing of "I wonder what we're even doing here". Soft and thought-provoking. Well done and congrats on the top story!

  • IBRAHIM SHOKUNLE7 months ago

    https://awards.vocal.media/nomination?grsf=ibrahim-0lf4p1

  • Rachel Deeming7 months ago

    Made me feel a little dreamy. Great poem. A well deserved TS!

  • Cathy holmes7 months ago

    Beautiful piece. Congrats on the TS.

  • Alex H Mittelman 7 months ago

    Congrats! Great poem!

  • Rob Angeli7 months ago

    Really well structured with a smooth and musical flow. I love the panorama of ephemera you bring to show (hopefully) fresh eyes. Great response to the challenge, and congrats on Top Story!

  • Morgana Miller7 months ago

    This is truly incredible. I love the (shift in?) POV for the final stanza. I could feel myself zooming out, as if you’d walked me, line by line, through the immortal underbelly of a single lifetime. Really really beautiful.

  • Sonia Heidi Unruh7 months ago

    Simply amazing. The villanelle structure works so well with the theme and adds to the haunting melancholy. Bravo.

  • This was so beautiful! Very well done!

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