very special family
the only person I wish I never met in my life was my goddamn sister, who I cared for like my own child
they straightened her teeth when I worked overtime
they were paying her rent while I was saving every penny
they appreciated her amidst the utter abomination of me
they worked scrupulously at her advantage over me
---
I must have disappointed them
I must have followed the routine track for abuse
I must not have known what they knew
I must have lost it all
---
they never healed themselves
instead hurting me with their wounds
the whole world around them knows a different truth than the Truth
I wonder if anyone else cares as much as I do
---
I want to heal, not hurt
I want to feel life, not abuse
I want to show others
it’s a poison, not a privilege
---
they will tell you and the whole world
that it never happened, that my wounds
never mattered, they always have to win
even if it’s not about being on top
---
we will all lose our lives
one way or another, no one lives forever
will you take a suitcase with all your money
to eternal life, wherever that may be?
---
but for money they could do a lot
lie, cheat, abuse and pursue every avenue
have you ever thought about it
that it’s changeable, this fortune of yours?
---
if you took it away, someone else will bring it back
as luck and money are the most liquid currency
depending on the state we are in
propitiously for me it lies far from where you are standing
---
your weight will never be within my reach
as you decided long ago
that my world will never collide with yours
I think you must have forgotten
---
that I am still your blood that you were supposed to care for
the opposite happened, so I guess
you are going to regret my existence and I can admit it
that I will regret it too, but you, unluckily for yourself, decided first
---
January – February 2023
---
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About the Creator
Mescaline Brisset
if it doesn't come bursting out of you
in spite of everything,
don't do it.
unless it comes unasked out of your
heart and your mind and your mouth
and your gut,
don't do it.
so you want to be a writer? – Charles Bukowski
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