Uproarious Road Trip Across America
An Abecedarian Poem
Accidentally took a wrong turn in Accident, but it was Allgood, drank our way through
Beer Bottle Crossing, saw Bowlegs in Buttzville, and Bitter End had us hungry for
Chili in Chicken, cookies in Cookietown, and in Coke County, well… , what happened in
Ding Dong somehow followed us to Delight, and let me tell you honey Dismal was Dull
Enigma had us lost and an Experiment in Earp gave us food poisoning
Found Funk in French Lick, had a Flippin amazing time in Flasher, but bad farts in Foul Rift because
Good Grief we got the worst heartburn of our lives in Greasy Corner, raised a little
Hell in Half Hell, got us a cup in Hot Coffee, while Hooker and Horneytown put us in the mood for
Intercourse, quite Ideal I would say, ooh-la-la come here baby, won the lottery in
Jackpot, then Jamaica Beach was callin' our names with sun and sand and salted rims, we were
Knockin' 'em back in Knockemstiff, and I guess it was just Kismet you know
Laid low in Loafers Glory, had last call in Last Chance, but no Luck for drinks in
Mormon Bar, Monkey’s Eyebrow gave us the stink eye, and Mars Hill didn’t live up to the name
Nothing was found in Nowhere, and the locals of Nuttsville… well what can we say…
Okay was Ordinary, Onancock was interesting, but definitely not as
Peculiar as Possum Trot or as delicious as Popcorn and Pie Town, meanwhile in
Quartzsite we mined for precious gems fit for a queen, while a new dance in
Rolling Fork had us Rough and Ready for some Romance, but it got a little too hot in
Satan’s Kingdom, so we cooled off in Sugar Tit with Sweet Lips from a tall glass of iced
Tea, had great tacos in Tortilla Flat, a flat tire in Toad Suck, but Top-of-the-World was
Utopia, the weather in Uranus was Uncertain but better in Urania, where we broke down in
Vinegar Bend, spent the night in Virginville but didn’t sleep a wink, pondered the meaning of
Why in Weed and Whynot in Wineglass, and the sunrise in
Xenia was xanthic, wrangled in a rodeo and a last bite in
Yeehaw Junction, and it was Yum Yum, shouted to the sky in Yellville, then with a
Zap, took a fast zip through Zzyzx, then my baby and I did a Zigzag all the way back to home
About the Creator
Rae Fairchild (MRB)
I love to write; putting pen to paper fills my heart and calms my soul!
Rae Fairchild is my pen name. (Because why not? Pseudonyms are cool!)
I do publish elsewhere under my real name, Mary Rae Butler. (Fairchild, an old family surname.)
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Comments (2)
Wowser! I absolutely loved road tripping through your delightfully, well crafted poem! Spot on and brilliantly fun! Cheers!
All the underlined and italicized words are names of actual places in the U.S. (see below) The ones I have picked barely scratch the surface. Honestly, go look up some lists for the fun of it. There are some REAL doozies out there and you will have an uproarious time reading them. Accident, MD; Allgood, AL; Beer Bottle Crossing, ID; Bowlegs, OK; Buttzville, NJ; Bitter End, TN; Chili, WI; Chicken, AK; Cookietown, OK; Coke County, TX; Ding Dong, TX; Delight, AR; Dismal, NC; Dull, OH; Enigma, GA; Experiment, GA; Earp, CA; Funk, NE; French Lick, IN; Flippin, AR; Flasher, ND; Foul Rift, NJ; Good Grief, ID; Greasy Corner, AR; Hell, MI; Half Hell, NC; Hot Coffee, MI; Hooker, OK; Horneytown, NC; Intercourse, PA; Ideal, GA; Jackpot, NV; Jamaica Beach, TX; Knockemstiff, OH; Kismet, KS; Loafers Glory, NC; Last Chance, CA; Luck, WI; Mormon Bar, CA; Monkey’s Eyebrow, KY; Mars Hill, NC; Nothing, AZ; Nowhere, OK; Nuttsville, VA; Okay, OK; Ordinary, KY; Onancock, VA; Peculiar, MO; Possum Trot, KY; Popcorn, IN; Pie Town, NM; Quartzsite, AZ; Rolling Fork, MS; Rough and Ready, CA; Romance, AR; Satan’s Kingdom, MA; Sugar Tit, SC; Sweet Lips, TN; Tea, SD; Tortilla Flat, AZ; Toad Suck, AR; Top-of-the-World, AZ; Utopia, TX; Uranus, MO; Uncertain, TX; Urania, LA; Vinegar Bend, AL; Virginville, PA; Why, AZ; Weed, CA; Whynot, NC; Wineglass, MT; Xenia, IL; Yeehaw Junction, FL; Yum Yum, TN; Yellville, AR; Zap, ND; Zzyzx, CA; Zigzag, OR;