Unwritten Letters

I hate that it seems like yesterday since you broke my heart and threw me away, yet I still think of you and feel this way.

I sat down and started to write you a letter, but then remembered I shouldn’t, I have to get better.

With hesitation I put down the paper and pen and swore I would never write you again.

I took a deep breath and grabbed my laptop, sat for a moment trying to calm my racing thoughts.

Before I knew it, I had opened word and was staring at an empty doc.

Prepared to write you a letter you might not read or give much thought.

It took some time, but I am glad I remembered, I cannot write you a letter because I have to get better.

I set the laptop down and slid it to my right making sure it is out of sight, I closed my eyes and whispered real light…

Goddess please help me have the strength to say goodbye.

With my left hand I reach over and grab my phone, thinking how free I would feel if I could leave you alone.

Opening my phone, I head straight to Instagram and damn, before I know it, I am on your page again.

I slam down my phone in frustration and sigh.

I put down my head and start to cry.

I must find a way to forget you or pretend you do not exist.

I must find a way to fight these urges I cannot resist.

I cannot go on feeling this way or doing these things forever, I must find a way to be free so I can get better