Untitled Anthem

The first time

You almost attempt suicide

Won’t be your last.

It will be your worst plan.

Your worst plan by far.

You want to freeze to death?

In a January blizzard?

At your father’s grave?

Did you have to be so melodramatic?

That night won’t be the last time

You and he have a blow out fight

Or the last night he won’t come home.

He will end up dumping you in another two weeks

And it will hurt worse than

When he dumped you in high school.

So, you’ll keep:

His favorite books,

The bedroom set,

And the Jeep.

You’ll also get another spite tattoo

That won’t get finished.

Anyways,

He won’t take you to the ER

But your mother will.

You won’t be hospitalized

For another six years.

You also won’t be honest about your mental state

With your mother again.

The hospitalization will happen

After you get fired from

The only job you’ve every actually enjoyed.

Before that, though,

You’ll get told that you

Only have a drug and alcohol problem.

Which, you definitely do,

But, that’s the only way to quiet your brain.

Every new provider you saw after that

Why you continued to seek treatment

Was probably pure spite.

Anyways,

That blizzard will end.

You will see the spring.

You will see another eight springs.

Suicide will become

Just another voice in your head.

It will be that glowing exit sign

But the show not bad enough to leave.

There will come a day where

You will be content with life.

True happiness is fleeting.

You do have a mood

And a personality disorder after all.

You deserve that contentment.

You deserve the people who love you.

You are made of the stars!

Of Dinosaurs!

You are made of everything that has existed

Or ever will exist.

The tears you’ve cried?

They’ve been inside the Mariana Trench.

They are the Colorado River

And that shit?

That shit made the Grand Canyon!

Those fingertips

Have touched, not only,

The burned books

But the sand beaches of Cozumel.

Your voice will slowly

Become unrecognizable to you

But you share atoms

With Freddie Fucking Mercury!

Your grandma

Will be in absolute awe

That you studied at a university

Yet made of her cells.

So,

Take the long way home.

Drive to the top of Cadillac Mountain to

Be the first to see the sunrise in the US.

Enjoy it because

That’s the same sun

Galileo told the Church to fuck off about.

Remember,

Every inch of you

Will never exist

Just

Like

This

Ever again.