Unsustainable

I saw you today

With her

Her

Blonde

Thin

Decorative

A life sized curio

collectable

But not antique

Not yet

And I stood

In paralyzed confusion

I scanned her

Took her in

My replacement

My complete opposite

The stark contrast

A slap to my face

My insignificant, unembellished face

Old

But clean

Lined

But honest

My face

mine

And despite the sting of the slap

I wonder

What do you see in her -

Besides the obvious?

Does it go deeper -

Beyond The Superficial?

I don’t know Why I torture myself with questions

Closure?

Self harm?

I know I won’t like the answers

Either way

Asking why is pointless

And Futile

I will never understand it

What you saw in me

Not really

Not now

Not now that I have seen her

Perhaps I was a phase

An exploration of other

An attempt at minimalism

Well intentioned

But doomed to fail

So deeply ingrained is your desire for things

For Stuff

For prettiness

It's as though you seek tangible

textile proof of life

Your attachment to the material is undeniable

And she - just an ornament

Like the ones I donated to goodwill long ago.