Tune to Myself

i hummed a tune quietly to myself

a lilting jilting tilting tune i’d never heard

i turned it over and around inside my head

thinking how i could adapt it with a word (or two)

the words came quickly to me this day

like a poorly wrapped fever in a torrent

so mesmerisingly desperate

needy ready repulsive and abhorrent

but when i picked up my guitar

the answers weren’t there

i was so sure this time

it felt so right in here inside my head

instead i found something simple and different

something that don’t give a solitary fuck at all

my amp tubes didn’t crackles or pop

baby wah bliss the sound the noise the wall

i played until my fingers hurt and a bit

until my Mrs. told me turn it down

i immediately quickly, hastily complied

she’s one lady i don’t fuck around

so this really then this could be her tune

could be mine could be ours could be hers

you picked a funny time to leave me loose wheel

watch as this gets bad then goes to worse

watch it disintegrate in into a thousand fiery pieces

each piece a separate hell; to be hated, to be loved

each piece slow cartwheeling to its own conclusion

it is what it is and all it is no help no hands no above

i hum my tunes to myself, just myself

that’s where they stay where they’re mine

no one else needs to hear my noise

they just need to know i’m fine