Tucked Into the Fiction

You discovered the radiating truth tucked into the fiction.

Yes, the entry was mine,

but never did I commit the described crime.

I got engaged as a nineteen-year-old,

yes, I was hasty and far too young and bold.

We had a miscarriage three months after getting married,

it felt sad, like our hopes truly tarried.

Six months later, we got pregnant again and this time,

all was mostly fine.

Her mother almost died a few times, due to labor complications, post-labor hemorrhaging and blood clots.

Counsel from many medical professionals, we sought.

Things leveled off in a way,

but then in March of 2018, things became traumatically gray.

Cryptic assault pounced and her secrecy crept,

I wept and wept and wept…

Then rain washed us toward psychiatric hospitals and out-of-state treatment centers,

but hearts just felt forever splintered.

A DUI charge blared one night,

while I was home with sweet little one who whispered in my hear that everything would be alright.

But would it?

In shock, all I could do was sit.

In that moment, I was broke financially, but more so brokenhearted.

The car, I started…

I hardly had enough money for gas that night,

much less the bail money, and the emotional wherewithal or fight.

We made it through all of this,

ill dose of bliss,

but then there was a second DUI charge,

with a two year affair uncovered and so many questions were still very much at large.

The tears of confusion flowed in scalding showers or on the edge of the bed of my sorrows.

Thinking back,

to the utter lack,

of reciprocated compassion,

puts me in a numb state of fashion.

They say that trauma can lead to spontaneous hearing loss,

and I look back and wonder if this is where all the hearing in my right ear went off for the final toss.

I don’t write to solicit pity,

but to vocalize that sometimes life is anything but pretty.

Through it all,

resilience and true-Holy-Spirit-joy stands ever-tall.