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trembling lips sing queer

an ode to tutus + truth

By gracie jenkins (she/her)Published 3 years ago 2 min read
2
four-year-old me, pink tutu, even brighter pink converse hightop sneakers sitting unlaced by the swing set

my femininity is full force fire.

licking flames red hot up the smooth of your leg. it is rich; sticky caramel rich, sunday afternoon walk rich, melt in your mouth rich, dripping off my painted fingernails rich, rich like

bring you to your knees. make you ask to admire the body that i have spent my life molding into a map of magic. make you yearn to see all this femme admired and adored. and then say no.

this isn’t for you in your privilege, isn’t for you with your “sweetheart, you’re just too pretty to be a lesbian," isn't for you with your "better be careful because girly girls like you normally change their mind.”

picture: four-year-old me, pink tutu, even brighter pink converse hightop sneakers sitting unlaced by the swing set, knees skinned from my latest detective mission. when i was little, i called myself a “tom girly.” tomgirl felt too hard, tasted metallic on the backside of my teeth and girly-girl echoed nasty schoolyard jabs and patronizing uncles but i wore tom girly

proud. had momma help me put it on in the mornings alongside my ruffle socks and dresses, painted it with my toes in the mud.

i collared it with my doll’s old sash and dragged it across the kitchen floor on my way to play monster trucks with my brothers. i packed it in my sleepover bag alongside quiz books and smelly pencils and i would love the way our girlish laughter tickled my ears far past bedtime and i would love

without knowing that it was love

but just that her hand felt safe and warm in mine.

my femininity is sacred. it is the innocent syllables that tumbled out of my toddler lips and it is the way i bring fairytales to life with my hips. it is the story written with my stars and it is the life of softness that takes so much strength to surrender to. it is my queer love story, my dearly beloved.

my femininity - my sweet, silky, storm weathered, stubborn, sanguine femininity - an act of unashamed and joyful

Resistance.

love poems
2

About the Creator

gracie jenkins (she/her)

home for honey sweet poetry and sapphic love, safe space for big feelings and nuanced conversations. a femme lesbian fairy writing and joy-searching in oklahoma. find me on instagram @graciejenkinss for more regular content.

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