Toxic Traits

This is a song (rap) I recently wrote, It's unreleased. I decided I would share the lyrics as a poem on vocal because I feel it is very poetic. It's about acknoledging my toxic traits and working on better myself as an individual. Let me know what you think. Hope you enjoy!

-Chorus-

As I drift away from this toxic toxicity

Working my way into simple simplicity

Stuck in a haze, take a hit and it's hitting me

Stuck in my ways, in complicit complicity

I don't always deliver everything that I promised

I lie to myself, that's called being dishonest

I like being alone and that makes me obnoxious

I cannot condone all these traits that are toxic

-Verse One-

These toxic traits are taking a toll

My mistakes are breaking my soul

I won't let them win

So before I begin

I humble myself and regain control,

We've waited so long for the moments that make us

We have to stand strong so they don't overtake us

Keep pushing through to the dreams we pursue

While they break us down and rebuild us to break us,

But that will only make us a little bit stronger

We've waited so long, wait a little bit longer

Stay up through the night and hide from the light,

I like thinking I'm right when I couldn't be wronger,

That's a problem I have, that's an issue I'm solvin'

I work on my self, I'm steady evolvin'

I'm a little bit selfish, I know it's a problem

I really can't help it, I try to resolve 'em

I'm trying to solve 'em, but the issues keep stackin'

I act like a victim, I can't believe what just happened

Knowing full well I caused it, the kids call that cappin'

That negative energy is what I'm attractin'

Pursuing my passion and putting in work

I know I'm asshole, they call me a jerk

While I hide with a smirk, just to hold in the hurt

Gotta get of the ground, wipe the dirt of my shirt,

Daddy issues, I'll admit we have friction

But to say it's his fault is a big contradiction,

I've been through a lot and it's quite the affliction,

I've got notes that I jot just to fight my addictions,

While treacherous thoughts incite my inflictions,

It's not what you thought, despite my depictions,

I got what I got and I write out my visions,

Taking my time when I make my decisions,

-Chorus-

As I drift away from this toxic toxicity

Working my way into simple simplicity

Stuck in a haze, take a hit and it's hitting me

Stuck in my ways, in complicit complicity

I don't always deliver everything that I promised

I lie to myself, that's called being dishonest

I like being alone and that makes me obnoxious

I cannot condone all these traits that are toxic

-Verse Two-

These toxic traits are at it again,

I'm not thinking straight with my pad and my pen,

I write it all down, the problems I'm solving

The voices get loud and the problems evolving,

I'm arrogant, selfish, and I can't ask for help,

Apparently helpless, I'm walking through hell,

Living with guilt, an enormous self-doubt,

And all of these vices that I can't live without,

So I scream and I shout,

Please somebody help!

But nobody answers, they think it's for clout,

Stay silent and quiet, "Why didn't you mention?"

But tell them the truth and "It's all for attention."

It doesn't make sense, they're doubling standards,

So I sit on the fence with these troubling answers,

I cannot decide, what do I do?

I'm high in the sky and feeling so blue,

I'm feeling so sad, I'm feeling so down,

Feeling so empty with the fear that I'll drown

I feel like a king, from my chain to my ring,

But honestly man, where is my crown?

Where is the crowd? Nobody's cheering,

Do they really listen? Or are they just hearing?

There is a difference, no time to explain,

The tracks almost over, my mind is in pain,

If I see you in person, I might act like I'm perfect,

But under the surface, I'm sweating and nervous,

Burying burdens

My heart has been hurtin'

I'm no good at flurtin'

For that I am certain

I make my mistake's, I do what I can,

What can I say, I'm only a man,

I try to be more, I open up like a door,

And let out a roar so you know I began.

-Chorus-

As I drift away from this toxic toxicity

Working my way into simple simplicity

Stuck in a haze, take a hit and it's hitting me

Stuck in my ways, in complicit complicity

I don't always deliver everything that I promised

I lie to myself, that's called being dishonest

I like being alone and that makes me obnoxious

I cannot condone all these traits that are toxic