To the Person I Needed You to Be

I wonder sometimes on rather you ok, if you are happy with the choices that you made. Did you know that you would fall down the rabbit hole this far just to mend your broken heart? sometimes I wonder if you ever knew when I was little all I wanted was a relationship with you, I looked up to you,

wanted to follow you, wanted you to be the person I needed you to be but I guess you didn't even know who you needed to be.

I was never the person you wanted to be around, I felt like something you were ashamed to claim as your blood, you made me feel so hard to love.

you hated me because you filled your mind with the thoughts that I was chosen but you never took the time to consider the pain I was holding knowing it wasn't the truth when every word that spilled out of everyone's mouth was about you

but I can't blame you, You were just so broken and I wish I would of known as I watched you turn your heart into every man's home and then watched how empty you were when they would pack up and leave

They take a piece of you I guess you were never supposed to keep. You were never there when I needed you but its ok because I was always there when you needed me,

Through your rejection I found who I needed to be, does it still hurt when you just pass me by like I am not one of the people who bent her life to accommodate you?

Did it hurt all the times I needed you to defend me but I was just a joke to you?

Yes but I understand we chose different paths, maybe we were never meant to be close because of blood, maybe you made me feel that way because you felt hard to love,

Maybe one day you'll see I was just trying to be there for you like I wanted you there for me.

7-19-18