To My Son
Wherever You Are
I hate your addiction and I don't want to lose you
Why is it so hard for you to just stop this madness?
Why don't you want to have real joy in life?
Why do you settle for the lies and the escape?
I live in fear of your death twenty-four hours a day
I don't enjoy meals or everyday activities
I beg for sleep to forget our pain and grumble when I wake up
I go through the motions for the others you left behind
I am in this addiction, too and I did not choose this drug
It pisses me off because this is where we are
It's where your choices put us
But you blame me
I buy into that at times and that pisses me off more
I feel guilty because you are the one who is sick
But I am sick too
And so are the other people that love you
We have separated the you not on drugs from the you who is
But it's getting hard to tell
The lies and manipulation and the whole damn cycle
Are getting old
Yet I love you
Yet they love you
Yet we all love you
Why don't you love you???
About the Creator
Shirley Belk
Mother, Nana, Sister, Cousin, & Aunt who recently retired. RN (Nursing Instructor) who loves to write stories to heal herself and reflect on all the silver linings she has been blessed with
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More stories from Shirley Belk and writers in Poets and other communities.
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I have been taking some time away from writing. I haven't forgotten about Vocal, the truth is I just have been too busy pursuing other things to write online and honestly, my little family and I just had a really hard month between the flu and a weird eye infection/cold circulating our house. I'm currently sipping some warm peppermint tea because my throat is sore.
By Chloe Rose Violet 🌹a day ago in BookClub
Comments (2)
So beautifully written Shirley... so heart breaking for you... A brilliant quote/image. I pray for strength for your son & you all.
Dear Shirley - With (3) years past I'm afraid to ask about your son - I Care - This is SO powerful and every word so incredibly well said. Please update this and post it again. With the current 'Fentanyl' crisis you will get so much 'Love' from our village community by doing so. J-bud