To Mum

I thought I'd seen something at the corner of my eye -

but all it was, was a shadow of remembrance,

of familiar instincts standing alive next to me.

Maybe this is the time

that I realize how much I miss you.

When I turn around and expect to see you

cleaning, lying down, tapping on your phone -

and such 18-year-old instincts are hard to

brush off as I replace them with my new normal.

My new normal life.

My new busy, city life.

I'm here now ready to open my arms

in hopes that my flesh will be enough

to make me fly

and catch the things that will

make my dreams come true.

Once, you were the strong wind pushing me

and lifting me into the air,

but now I don't only have to fly alone

but I also have to find a new wind to own.

I miss you. But it's not a goodbye.

It never was. It's a see you

and a thank you

for the old normal I used to have

and the chance of a new world I got

because of you.