To Let You Know Why I'll Be Going Home with You Tonight

You say my eyes are beautiful as you

ask me my name and pass me a drink

My eyes are the window to the soul

(Ludicrously trite yet somehow seductive)

The soul you want to love

The soul you need to love

But you know better

I know

you know better

I know you know better

because

I have been here with you before

I sat here with you when you used to be six years older

When your eyes used to be blue

I sat here with you as I ran my fingers through your copper hair

And you sing to me siren songs about

futures and

children and

all those stupid things that lovers say

but I know that

you know that

nobody means those stupid things

because

you have said those things to me before

And I know that you want me to think that

We should go falling in love

without a parachute

and believe that falling

means

never having to land

Suck the poison from Romeo's tongue

and believe that dying for love

isn't really

death

But I know you and

I know

you know better

Because here we are for the first time

and I remember how you were when we were here the last time

How perfectly your hands fit mine

How softly our lips came together

How we could stop the world just to make love

And you say that my eyes are beautiful

and that you want to love me

and you want me to love you

and you and me will love each other

and be in love

and be in love with being in love

But I know that

you know better than that

I know that you know better than

to make me want to love you

because I have loved you before

And I remember how those gentle hands hold hateful daggers

How those sweet lips are filled with bitter poison

And I remember how thirty days and a lifetime from now

we won't be able to make the world stop

to make love

because we won't make love

And you say you want to love me and

you want me to love you

and I know that you know better

because six months from now we will stop making love when

you land at the bottom of that cliff

when Romeo's poison turns your insides to venom

And I remember how you will kill me

I remember how softly and slowly you will kill me

How every time you stop kissing me goodbye

you will kill me

How every time you pull your hand away from mine

you will kill me

You will kill me with such subtlety that

six months from now when I walk in on you

with another man

and I see the daggers in your hands

stroking his face

and I see the poison on your lips

dripping onto his skin

My world will not stop for a single second because

I will already be dead

So don't offer me your gentle words tonight

Take instead this drink you offer

and fill it outright with your venom

and let me drink it now

because

I would rather sip these bitter toxins

of my jaded choosing

than

be so slowly killed by the sweet poison of your lips

Take your daggers and thrust them

into my chest

and

kill me right now

Because it only gets worse from here

We only get worse from here

And if you don't kill me swiftly now

you will kill me softly later