I have spent my whole life
looking for sparks
As a dead person tends to do
Warm, muggy evenings
The grass was so itchy on our legs
Cracking my neck to see the stars
Breaking my bones to glimpse you
Balancing on corners
Only cement will cushion the fall
Maybe being a hopeless romantic
Finally killed me after all
Looking for sparks swallowed by the haze
In a place with sixty thousand ghosts
I want you to haunt me, darling
But how did we die?
Where did I go?
Did you jump? Did we survive the fall?
Will we be forever stuck where I was buried
Books and papers surrounding me
Cool marble under my feet
Cold and porcelain
As my cheek nowadays
Mouth open, a big wide O
Before we crash to the cement?
Lightning reigns down around us
There's a crackle when we touch
Static electricity
Defibrillators, pumping through us, carrying us to the present
To a reality only one of us is willing
Or wanting to see
I drop my mascara every morning
Clattering around
My hand shakes, I can’t grip the bottle
Maybe it's passing through my skin
translucent
Visible arteries, empty, cold and blue
My heart refuses to yield my blood
Refuses to listen to my brain
As I stare into a mirror that shows me everything but what I want to see
Green like jealousy?
Can I envy you?
Can ghosts even feel?
sage, glen, forest, moss, mold
But I can’t make you jealous
Over someone you don’t want
The tombstone is mossy, cool to the touch
Utterly abandoned
Maybe forgotten
Start to end, life to life
Ghosts have a way of sticking around
my fantasies, my beauties
You haunt me
I look at you
You look through me
Maybe I haunt you
What are you even looking for?
What am I even hoping for?
We never match up
Poltergeist. Phantom. Spector
Lock your doors
Pour your salt. Tablespoons of honey.
Hang your rosary. Dried flowers,
Make me leave.
But what does a ghost do
When they are haunted?
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