To All Residents of Sunset Thistle Estates

This joint communiqué

Brought to you by

The Neighborhood Watch

And the HOA

Warning! Warning!

Creatures have been spotted

Fangs like a Dracula

Claws like a lobster

Mutated flesh

These are dangerous monsters

17 Ash

Your grass is an inch too long

And you need to remove

The gnome from your lawn

We are accepting volunteers

To patrol through the night

But supply your own weapons

In case there’s a fight

Knives, bats, and guns

Something other than fists

We deny liability

So assume your own risk

21 Oak

Your trash can’s visible

Even from the road

Either build a fence

Or place behind your home

This is your third and final warning

So please comply

Or you can expect

A hefty fine

Curfew starts at 6:45

Best observe if you want to survive

And please keep all your pets inside

As seventeen kittens have already died

14 Pine

Your mulch is an unapproved shade

Please consult the list of colors

That we have clearly displayed

We strongly suggest

All families stay in the light

Sleep in one room

And hold your kids tight

Take time to reflect

On how life is fleeting

And we’ll see you next week

At our bimonthly meeting