Tides

The odds within the tides are so familiar;

Wanting to crash against the rocky shore,

Yet always pulling away to retreat, to hide.

I’ve always wanted to be the life of the party!

A beautiful girl with an enthralling laugh.

Or a woman with style, a woman who is smart.

The woman who causes crooked smiles

In strangers on cracked sidewalks.

When I boom, and when I roar, it's quite

Awkward, it is bone chilling actually,

How I manage to make people's skin crawl.

So I am lost in a world where my head

Is stuck in the clouds, and I am the

Life of the party. The child who won

Class president in the 5th grade.

The person who likes to read philosophy.

But when the waves slap the shore,

And I am knocked back into reality,

I am reading books of poetry, fantasy

And mangas. I am dressed in black

With dark eyes that fear eye contact.

I remember that my legs are riddled

With small and thick white lines.

Those lines that remember nights

Of crying in the shower, my only

Friend, a piece of jagged glass.

Jagged just like the rocks at the shore.

I remember how I yearn to be the

Face of conventional beauty; but

Instead, I am the face of an outcast.