Thoughts

A cup of green tea in my left hand, a piece of dark chocolate in my right.

I can tell the sun is rising because, through the windows, I can see the light.

No sleep again. I stayed up all night—too many thoughts. I’m sleep deprived.

It’s just me, myself and I. Another day has passed, and I’ve somehow survived.

I’ve lost my appetite, so I force myself to eat. I have stopped drinking coffee. I only drink tea.

My hands are shaking. I’m like a bundle of nerves. When I look in a mirror, I don’t like what I see.

I don’t talk to my friends because they don’t understand. They think I’m weird, but I don’t mind that.

I don’t pick up my phone and ignore everyone. I don’t want them to call, and I don’t want to chat.

My tea is now cold. The sun is up in the sky. My hands are still shaking, and my body feels numb.

I’m scared of loneliness but would rather be alone. I want to go home and be with my mum.

I don’t know who to go to and don’t know what is wrong. I’m too tired to cry but too scared to talk.

I need to do something. I need to clear my head and get something to eat or go for a walk.

My phone’s ringing again. My friends want to talk, but I don’t want to see them, and I want them to stop.

The room is spinning, and my head is starting to hurt. My vision is blurry, and I can feel a teardrop.

I am mentally drained and physically too. I need to get some sleep and get some food too.

I want to feel better. I want to feel alive. I don’t know what happened, and I don’t know what to do.