This Side

Sometimes I just can’t explain this,

I am unable to tell of the things I miss,

Not able to explain what’s been forgotten,

In this world of things rotten,

And as the apple falls,

The black birds will issue their calls,

And alone I will surrender,

To leave behind all I blunder,

Please hold my hand,

However briefly help me stand,

This is not a race but an assault,

A war that is entirely my fault,

If I could battle things long gone,

If the demons of the past did not condone,

Time moves forward ticking my dead man’s toll,

And I reach out to steady the earth’s roll,

As all I own spins away from me,

In silence I scream my plea,

For you to open your eyes and see,

Takes the courage of a bee,

Because you’ll leave your hive far behind,

Then slowly it will all unwind,

The ribbons beneath your fingers unravel,

Like heartbreak collapsing on the gravel,

Breathe in deeply and the hurt sinks into your skin,

While eyes behold the insanity to which I’m kin,

This fist buried deep in my gut,

It is only one of several things that cut,

I’m sliced to the bone,

And left broken alone,

Tell me now the meaning of letting go,

Is it within the secrets of hiding what doesn’t show?

Or is it in the simplicity of sleep,

Sinking down into something so deep,

But when the bottom is reached,

Are by demons or angels you breached?

Tell me now far I’m about to fall,

I want to know before I lose it all,

To who I send my last loving shout,

As the world blackens out.

*This is a poem written when I was a child. I do not change or edit poems from my childhood out of respect to the young girl who wrote them. I trust that she knew what she was doing and wanted to say.*