This Poison

You live in me, but you sicken me.

Did I let you reign or did you take it?

When you come by I am acting like I’m making it, just faking it.

The sight of you gives me sore eyes, like sky gazing at noon high.

It burns to be near you. Do you think I fear you?

You can’t be happy if I ain’t. How are you living without the misery?

I’m miserable every day, how you ok is a mystery.

So I have the problem?! You are unaffected and feeling well.

I swear you set me up to fall and cracked a smile when I fell.

So this venom is for you and I hope it eats at your bones.

So they dissolve into foam and waste your happy tone.

This venom has aged and was brewed to perfection.

Wait a minute. Wait a second…. I’m spitting toxins at a reflection.

It’s an infection. It’s injected into my veins.

This poison is for real. Waste away! Feel my pain!

But I’m the one wasting away. Dying in silence.

This infection in my bones is trying to make me deny it.

This ain’t working. You are alive and thriving.

Why are you thriving?

Why are you striving while I’m over here hardly surviving?

Maybe I had this wrong. I haven’t uttered a word in your direction.

But I wanted you to see the pain, loneliness and rejection.

I wanted your affection but I’m a wreck and emotional mess.

I could just let it go but this poison is easier to digest.

I need to be free of this. Be rid of the venom to live.

All this wasted energy was pointless. When all I needed to do was forgive.