This Life

No one told you it would be this hard.

That it would suck the soul right out of you.

That you would struggle and fall and break over and over again.

No one told you it would hurt this much.

That the pain of feeling your heart shatter is unbearable.

They didn't tell you that time doesn't help you move on or forget.

That you will remember forever the pain and anguish and feel it everyday for the rest of your life.

They didn't tell you that most days you would feel like you were losing your mind.

That the world will chew you up and spit you out one too many times.

And each one will leave you a little more broken and a little more lost.

That you will leave a breadcrumb trail of all the pieces you have lost along the way,

And that trail will lead all the way back to the beginning.

You can retrace your steps but never change what was and is and will be.

They didn't tell you that you would fall to your knees and beg for it to be over.

For it to all stop and let you be.

They didn't tell you that you would die a million times but continue breathing just fine.

They didn't tell you that you would have to watch your entire world crumble in front of your eyes,

And that you would be powerless to stop it.

That you will stand on the sidelines and watch as piece by piece it falls away.

They didn't tell you it would be this hard. This painful. This agonizing.

They didn't tell you that this is life and you are just along for the ride.

But what they also didn't tell you is...

You will stumble and you will fall but you will always get back up.

That you will shatter into a million pieces but you will glue them back together every single time with your own blood, sweat and tears.

They didn't tell you that you would learn to embrace the pain and use it to make yourself stronger.

They didn't tell you that though the heart breaks it will always mend and love again.

That time moves oh so slowly but it does move. Always forward.

They didn't tell you that by remembering the pain and anguish you keep those you have lost alive and close in your heart and mind.

That losing your mind is sometimes the only way to find yourself.

They didn't tell you that though life has sharp teeth she also has soft hands. When you've been spit out once again she will be there ready to stand you on your feet once more.

They didn't tell you that all the pieces lost along the way would be replaced with newer and stronger pieces as you move through this life.

That the trail you are trying to follow is the wrong one. You don't need the breadcrumbs to the past when you should only look to the future.

They didn't tell you that when you are on your knees and begging and praying, you are fighting even then.

That each new death also brings a new life and a new beginning.

And that as you watch your world crumble and fall in front of you there is already a new one forming all around you.

That you can pick up the pieces of that old life and use them to build a better, stronger life for the new you that has emerged.

They didn't tell you that though you are along for the ride there is nothing stopping you from taking the driver's seat and steering your own destiny this time.

They didn't tell you all the bad things and they didn't tell you all the good things...

They didn't tell you anything at all really because only you will experience this life of yours.

And only you can make it what you want it to be.