Tried and failed, yet the fight was still in me. Tried and failed again, battle scars now visible to anyone within close proximity of my beating apex.
Thick walls go up, defense mechanism in full swing. Although unwanted, a strong feeling evokes, I struggle to protect the tiny bit of love I own.
Do not take it personal, I begin to speak love.
Do not get too close, I speak love a thousand times.
Do not question my silence, I speak love from behind closed doors... I scream—a little light shines before it is outed...These lips have failed me...
Re-evaluation time; paint on the "I am ok" and "honestly, I am doing just fine" shades. Just fine for who though? Because, I have never been fine enough for you. Not slim enough in the middle, thick enough at the back, broad enough to the left or right. So I am here purchasing images, as if they will resurrect the old me, the me you always showered with your dreams of growing old and grey.
Do not take it personal, I begin to speak love.
Do not get too close, I speak love a thousand times.
Do not question my silence, I speak love from behind closed doors...I scream—a little light shines before it is outed...These lips have failed me.
Lessons missed during those tender stages, though experience should have me aching. Would have had these current papers rope-memorized, as if it was me who formed the questions.
Surely by now I should have developed enough common to see through tracing-paper. Cross him out, sketch him again, redefine those undeniable yet necessary characteristics and color him in. Color him tall, color him thin, color him dark with beautiful brown eyes and definitely a little handsome, with just an ounce of sin.
Do not take it personal, I begin to speak love.
Do not get too close, I speak love a thousand times.
Do not question my silence, I speak love from behind closed doors...I scream—a little light shines before it is outed..
These lips failed me, now my heart is crying to be heard again..
I walk away.
Alas, my brain caught up..
I am no longer looking back.
About the Creator
YJas Writes
Snippets of a water-signs thoughts, feelings, emotions, tainted lessons, teachings and observations... “Do come in, come in... Take a look around, don’t be shy...”
yjasblake.wordpress.com More of Me..
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