The Well

I was taking a walk one day

when I fell into a well

never thought that I would hit bottom

until it came rushing up to greet me

It’s tenebrous and frigid

and as if it wasn’t already small

the walls were closing in

threatening to keep me immobilized

Nadir keeps its hold on me

all I can really do is weep

dwell in the thoughts of my mortality

internalize it all, no need to burden anyone

I was trapped in that cimmerian place

the water was coming over my head

it felt like the only choice I had

was to lay in my soon-to-be casket

A rope was thrown down

by someone who noticed me missing

the choice was mine to make

to grab hold and be pulled from the abyss

Hands reached down as I reached the top

hauled me away from the depressing hole

they told me that this wasn’t the end

it was a broken bone that needed time to heal

Although I’m no longer drowning

sometimes it feels like

I’m a victim of secondary asphyxiation

and once again I’m stuck in the void

I’m almost tempted to take another walk

find the well and jump in headfirst

and allow myself to nearly suffocate

they say that drowning is almost peaceful

Thank goodness for the time I took

to conceal the well with osmium

I promised myself that I would never

allow thoughts like that to creep in again

Thank goodness for the post-it reminders

all the reasons I have given myself

to never return for the well

lift the cover with my last bit of strength

The mess that got me here

will soon be cleaned up and organized

just something to add to the scrapbook

it could be that or the future I envisioned

A little girl finds me, note in hand

"I’m sorry little sis, life’s just too hard"

it’s something that she’ll talk about in therapy

I’m just the sister who didn’t care enough

Newspaper obituaries and death certificates

when I dived in, pieces of them came with me

and while I’m resting in peace

they’re the ones left feeling haunted

I still have moments when I walk

and pass by the ‘danger here’ sign

I see the well that almost won

it’s enough motivation to pass it by