The Voices: I hate them!

The voices.

The voices they are everywhere,

loud, volatile they don’t seem to care.

care that they cause distress and harm,

care that they make it impossible to stay calm.

calm is a feeling I truly do miss,

miss it so much the happiness and bliss.

that feeling that I am safe on my own

no risk of self-harm through flesh and bone,

I am careful to stay that way I can’t afford to slip

if I did… I’ve done it before… I the ‘ve felt blood drip.

To slip would mean back into old habits that just do me harm,

I’m trying, trying trying so hard just to regain the calm.

Calm I know is a feeling that won’t wash over me soon,

my head, my body disjointed marching to their own tune.

such tunes I know do me no good,

focussing, trying to get rid of them like I know that I should.

I struggled each moment because of the voices

so much so that they derail me choices

choices are important to life, I know that they are,

someday my brain feels as If it’s covered in tar.

Brain so heavy, feeling like im stuck in the rain,

water soaking me, washing me with pain

walking trudging through life going on and on

some days I wish I was gone.

onwards and upwards others do chant

failing to realise that I simply cant.

Cant go on because I’m shrouded by fear

scared that when I shout there will be no-one to hear