The Vessel Of A Conundrum

The heart is more than a blood vessel, an aorta valve,

A vein, that carries life, oxygen, sustenance and hope,

It also carries love, butterflies, pain, heartache and grief,

In fact, it sometimes hurts so badly we struggle to cope.

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There are days we wish the brokenness would dissolve,

Hoping that the blood running through our veins,

Would dilute the pain, the misery, the hopelessness,

But it’s all wishful thinking as the pain does remain.

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That bloody vessel can be the causation that brings us to our knees,

The crippling anxiety, the loss of appetite, the torrent of tears,

As it pounds away, without discriminating, in our chest,

Thumping harder and faster the greater our fears.

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I’ve hurt so badly at times, that I swear it rises into my throat,

Suffocating, swelling in size, determined to see me choke,

Silently beating so hard I can feel the thumps in my temples,

Positive it’ll be the cause of a deadly stroke.

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It aches of its own accord,

Refusing to listen to the brain,

It pounds away in a fit of grief,

Racing faster than a freight train.

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It causes us so much strife,

We thought of ripping it out to discard,

But it has us beat, bloody and raw,

Leaving us sobbing on the floor, horridly scarred.

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It sits there innocently,

As we cycle through a love hate relationship with it,

It plods along, not a care in the world,

Until it decides it’ll race faster and then stutter, hiccup and skip.

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Just as we decide that it’s not worth the pain we feel,

It’ll fill with love for some stranded animal or hurt being,

We’ll feel the swelling of joy in our chest,

So full of love and empathy it is instantly freeing.

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We’ll forget the trouble it had recently caused,

As we feel the love, the positivity, the joy,

Never doubting that the world is a beautiful place,

Or remember that yesterday all it did was annoy.

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One moment it is swollen, filled with love,

Then suddenly it’ll show a small crack,

It only takes a minute for it to shatter,

And the horrid crippling pain is suddenly back.

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But without it there’d be no life,

So we put our faith in this vessel thumping merrily along,

Living through the pain, the grief that it sometimes feels,

Hoping it’ll turn things around, start beating to a happier song.

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Originally posted on Medium