On the first day of Bumble, my new match gave to me:
A lot of anxiety!
On the second day of Bumble, my new match gave to me:
Two basic questions,
And a lot of anxiety!
On the third day of Bumble, my new match gave to me:
Three vague answers,
Two basic questions,
And a lot of anxiety!
On the fourth day of Bumble, my new match gave to me:
Four hours of silence,
Three vague answers,
Two basic questions,
And a lot of anxiety!
On the fifth day of Bumble, my new match gave to me:
Five cancelled plans!
Four hours of silence,
Three vague answers,
Two basic questions,
And a lot of anxiety!
On the sixth day of Bumble, my new match gave to me:
Six texts a-typing,
Five cancelled plans!
Four hours of silence,
Three vague answers,
Two basic questions,
And a lot of anxiety!
On the seventh day of Bumble, my new match gave to me:
Seven new insecurities,
Six texts a-typing,
Five cancelled plans!
Four hours of silence,
Three vague answers,
Two basic questions,
And a lot of anxiety!
On the eighth day of Bumble, my new match gave to me:
Eight days of ghosting,
Seven new insecurities,
Six texts a-typing,
Five cancelled plans!
Four hours of silence,
Three vague answers,
Two basic questions,
And a lot of anxiety!
On the ninth day of Bumble, my new match gave to me:
Nine reasons not to,
Eight days of ghosting,
Seven new insecurities,
Six texts a-typing,
Five cancelled plans!
Four hours of silence,
Three vague answers,
Two basic questions,
And a lot of anxiety!
On the tenth day of Bumble, my new match gave to me:
Ten nights a-crying,
Nine reasons not to,
Eight days of ghosting,
Seven new insecurities,
Six texts a-typing,
Five cancelled plans!
Four hours of silence,
Three vague answers,
Two basic questions,
And a lot of anxiety!
On the eleventh day of Bumble, my new match gave to me:
Eleven common interests,
Ten nights a-crying,
Nine reasons not to,
Eight days of ghosting,
Seven new insecurities,
Six texts a-typing,
Five cancelled plans!
Four hours of silence,
Three vague answers,
Two basic questions,
And a lot of anxiety!
On the twelfth day of Bumble, my new match gave to me:
Twelve self-reflections,
Eleven common interests,
Ten nights a-crying,
Nine reasons not to,
Eight days of ghosting,
Seven new insecurities,
Six texts a-typing,
Five cancelled plans!
Four hours of silence,
Three vague answers,
Two basic questions,
AND
A
LOT
OF
ANXIETY!
About the Creator
Chloë J.
Probably not as funny as I think I am
Insta @chloe_j_writes
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Comments (7)
Absolutely brilliant! I can't decide which part is my favorite, because all of this is just too real.
Holy shit, this is badass. Don’t cry over those fools. People are weirdos. If they knew what a brilliant writer you are they’d be makin tracks to get with you. This is a really great piece.
This is just so clever and so funny. Loved it.
That was rather brilliant and entertaining. Awesome job! I think my favorite was “Seven new insecurities” to pile on top of the others a person may have to begin with. Never a good sign that things are going right! Loved your poem. 💖
Ah now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head... very funny, thanks!
LOL this was great, Cloë! I love that you kept the meter in line with the orignal! This should have Top Story in its future!
Lol this is so relatable. Especially that “lots of anxiety” part for me! That’s why I stopped online dating 😂