The truth hurts

I'm allowing my heart to be repeatedly mistreated And my feelings invalidated over and over For the sake of some chance That you will eventually start loving me, like I deserve to be loved. And in turn I eventually stop loving myself. The crazy part is I lie to myself and say I'm doing it for love. But if I take an honest look at it, at some point, I start doing it because I am scared. Scared that I'm once again going to end up feeling like I'm not enough. I keep going through the same cycle, Telling myself one day you will finally hear me and make the choice to be better for me. So I continue to put up with you disregarding my feelings, because it's easier for me to tell myself that eventually I will be enough for you to want to change. Rather then to have to accept that you will probably choose to just let me walk away when the time comes that I can't put up with it anymore. And I will have to face that I put all that time, effort, and pain, into someone who once again would rather let me walk away than be accountable for their actions. So I stay stuck. Because as painful as it is putting myself through this, I know that pain is nothing compared to what I will feel when I finally have to accept that I wasn't enough.