The Things I Wish I Could Tell You

One. I like you. I really, really like you. I'm sorry that I lied.

Two. There is something about the way you just look at me, that makes me feel like I matter.

Three. When you smile, it's like sitting by glowing coal in the fire place when it's cold out.

Four. Your beard is kinda cute.

Five. You know how to insult me in ways that don't leave me feeling secretly hurt.

Six. You remember things about me that I don't remember.

Seven. When you speak, every word is precious. You never cease to surprise me with how much compassion you have.

Eight. I look up to you.

Nine. I feel like you are too good for me, but somehow when I am with you, you make me feel important.

Ten. You are the epitome of goodness, gentleness.

Eleven. I am the very opposite of all that you are.

Twelve. I feel jealous when you speak about anyone else.

Thirteen. I hover over my phone, always hoping you message me.

Fourteen. I hate it when you message me.

Fifteen. I hate it when you look at me. I hate it when you approach me, speak to me.

Sixteen. I want you to stay away.

Seventeen. I miss you whenever I don't see you.

Eighteen. When you are nearby all I hope is that you will come and say hi. You always do.

Nineteen. I want to tell you to leave me alone.

Twenty. We will never work.

Twenty One. You have no idea who I really am under the surface.

Twenty Two. Your world is so beautiful I can't damage it.

Twenty Three. I want to be selfish. I want you, but I still care about you more than myself, which is why I need to stay away.

Twenty Four. I am really, really hurting and I want to tell you about it. I want you to help me.

Twenty Five. I want to know everything about you.

Twenty Six. I need someone to save me, and I know you can.

Twenty Seven. Being with me will ruin you.

Twenty Eight. Every time I see you, It hits me that I missed you more than I realised.

Twenty Nine. I don't picture us together happy, I see it ending quickly.

Thirty. All I think about is being with you.

Thirty One. I often don't want to live any more. I don't want you to be hurt if I go. I also don't want you to become another reason forcing me to stay.

Thirty two. I sabotage anything good in my life. It will happen to you.

Thirty three. Hurt is all I consist of.

Thirty four. I won't turn up to dates, you will spend time with a bundle of sadness in blankets.

Thirty Five. I wish I could be happy, and I could be like any other girl, because I wish I could have you.

Thirty Six. I feel like you care about me.

Thirty Seven. I hate that.

Thirty eight. I'm sorry that I told you I didn't like you, I'm protecting you but it hurts a lot.

Thirty Nine. Boys are good actors when they want something.

Forty. Boys have destroyed me.

Forty One. I wont trust you. Even after a long time, I won't trust you, and that will hurt you.

Forty Two. I feel like I could accidentally tell you about why I am sad, and it terrifies me. It makes me want to stay away.

Forty Three. I know who I am, and someday you will understand why I hate myself. I'm not prepared to allow that day to come, or to wait for it.

Forty Four. Please, please just leave me alone. Every time I see you it hurts.

Forty Five. I'm confused and leaving is the best option.

Forty Six. I don't want you.

Forty Seven. I often wonder what it would be like to kiss you.

Forty Eight. Sometimes I think about if maybe you would give me a second chance.

Forty Nine. I want you to stay as far away from me as possible.

Fifty. I wish I could go back to the day you asked me out for coffee last year, and say yes.