The Spider Over My Bed

Hanging down was the spider in a web. I screamed like a child; it was over my bed, hairy, black, and ready to pounce. I am sure it’s going to eat me, and every last ounce. So I grab my cricket bat. "Come, spider, bring it on." "Don’t do that," he said, "my dear, hold on." He then jumped down and sat by my side, terrified. I cried and cried, "Look, I am a nice spider. Please try to smile; I only wanted to sit with you for a short while." "No, go away," I said, "or I will use this bat." The spider ignored me and sat and sat. Then suddenly he turned for the hills, telling me to go buy a few happy pills. He vanished, and from that day to this, I asked the universe to grant this wish: please keep my bedroom and house spider-free. Please, universe, grant this one wish for me. It’s been a year; no sign of him. I actually think this battle I willed to win.