The Smells

The smell of fear,

And the smell of love,

Coincide,

Concealing in order to nurture the fear and hide the love I have inside.

My mind's eye is clouded by

The connection of another kind.

But I find

That love is amazing and beautiful if you let it be.

The connection between you and me;

More like the connection to you from me;

One sided,

Blindly guided along by something that isn't there.

I stare

For a brief moment into your eyes

And quietly say my last goodbyes

As if we were long lost lovers that failed

And I left you on mysterious ship that hailed

Across the ocean of confusion and imagination.

I'll be drowned at sea

and die ever so slowly

As the thoughts begin to choke my mind

And my mortality becomes of mine.

But I'll smile

Knowing that love was the reason

And with the change of each season

You'll hear me in the wind and chime

And every little whispered rhyme

Of how I loved the once upon a time

Fairytale of you and I.

When fear and love smelled of the same

I started to play this continual game

Where the prize is your eyes never being able to meet mine

And your hands cannot stand to greet me when we meet.

We both respect the players?

Yes,

But this is not a game of chess

This is my whole hearted life and day to day issues, problems, struggles and strife.

Time never goes back

But oh how I dream

Of a time where it feels

like the past

Before that god awful smell seemed

to make decisions for me,

Like sailing even though its stormy

And loving you when you don't love me

But who knows?

I could be sick and stuffy.

It's a very strong possibility.

But somehow that stupid smell makes me so damn hungry

for something that isn't even there.

Starving my self I have continually tried,

But the smell of fear

And the smell of love

Continue to coincide.