The Shape of Leaving

The Shape of Leaving

All I ever wanted was to feel the love I

aspire to give.

All I ever wanted was to feel the love-

but the guy I liked would shove me away,

even when all I wanted to feel was the

touch,

the touch of love.

So should I keep running?

Should I keep chasing the one thing that

keeps me waiting -

while his love is fading and my soul keeps

aching?

Should I be facing all of that,

even though my hands start shaking

at the thought of someday standing in front

of him and gazing?

I’m young.

I keep telling myself that,

but my heart keeps breaking –

and I’m suffocating

in this whole framing

of what love should look like.

Why don’t you want to talk to me

as much as I want to talk to you?

Why don’t you want to be in my presence

as much as I do?

Do you want me to move on

and forget about you?

Because I can do that.

But what if I see you again in that one

avenue?

I don’t want to hear that you didn’t have a clue.

Because I know that you knew.

Did you like watching me crying in my bedroom

because of what you have put me through?

I don’t want to sound cruel,

but I think that I stopped loving you in June.

Every night when I was staring at the moon,

I begged for me to see the truth.

Maybe I knew that you were the one I had to

loose

so I could start to bloom.

I think that this is my last goodbye.

I choose myself,

and not the bruise you leave

every time you cross my mind.

This is my last goodbye,

I will try to put my feelings aside

though a part of me wishes

you had stayed mine.

Maybe our souls are intertwined,

but you won’t be the one that defines my

life.

All I ever wanted

was to feel the love I aspire to give.

And now

I will shine and smile,

and decide to find hat love within.