The Road

Sometimes my mind travels to deep and dark places.

Sometimes my mind meets up with familiar faces.

In this book I write in, you can follow my footsteps as I leave my traces.

Walk a few miles in my shoes and do not forget to tie those shoelaces.

As a little girl I was molested, I was only four years old and I did not want to be messed with, but he still forced me to remove my dress.

As I became older I told them but they all chose not to believe me.

They left me broken inside but I did not let that defeat me, I did not fall I stood up on my feet.

At the age of seventeen I had baby. I had to raise her alone because her father was a deadbeat but that was okay because my baby girl made me feel complete.

I fell in love with my soulmate and had three more beautiful babies.

We were madly in love but life was not easy.

We had our ups and downs for many years and he mentally beat me and I tried to stay strong but that man defeated me.

One day we had to separate and we spent six months apart, all while this was happening my baby girl needed a new heart.

See my daughter had a baby of her own at the age of sixteen and five months later she was diagnosed with post partum cardio myopathy, which means her heart was not working properly.

She was able to get a heart transplant but a year later her body began to reject the heart and from this world she had to depart.

I was left totally broken and falling apart and there was a huge hole left in my heart.

Depressed and broken I had to find the strength to not want to die because for my other babies I had to keep on I had to try.

It has been three years now that she has been gone and everyday it is still a struggle to remain strong.

The love of my life and I found our way back to each other to prove our love was strong enough to survive the ugliest weather. We made it through the storm together.

Life was not done testing us because I became so very sick as an infection ravaged my body and I had to have some major surgeries.

The first surgery was on my chest where they removed my clavicle bones.

I ended up in a rehabilitation home where I felt so depressed and so alone.

I escaped rom that place and went home and that is when the infection in my spine became worse and my legs gave out on me and once again I was back in the hospital away from home and again so alone.

After the surgery on my spine I was told the worst news that blew my mind, I could no longer walk I was now paralyzed.

Once again I was left heartbroken and all I could do was cry and ask myself why?

My spirit was broken as my body was filled with excruciating pain, so much so that I felt like I was about to go insane .

I have been through so much loss and so much pain that I lost myself and I do not think I will ever be the same.

Everyday I fight to get through all the physical and mental pain. I dwell on all that was taken from me and how all I could really do is lay here feeling defeated and slain.

Now that you have taken a walk with me down my dark filled memory lane you can now understand why my mind can't seem to get off the crazy train.

Will I ever be the same after life stops playing it's ugly game or will it finally consume me and make me go insane.

Only time will tell if i make it out of this personal hell.