The Reasons I Can't Smile

I’m from a single parent household.

Have been on and off since I was 14.

Your parents are still together, you’ve still got that happy family.

Maybe that’s why you don’t understand why I don’t want you to leave.

My mum tried to kill herself,

My dad is so depressed

And then I’ve got an eating disorder

And PTSD.

Your only experience with mental health is when your mate has a ‘bad trip.’

The worst thing to happen to you was when she broke your heart

And the worst thing to happen to me was when he stole my innocence

When I wasn’t even a teen

Or maybe it was when I felt the human life die inside of me when I was 17

I was still just a kid myself,

Unprepared for such grief.

So don’t you dare ask me why I’m not happy

And don’t you dare say I never laugh.

Because I still ache inside for all the love I’ve lost

And the love you’re not ready to give.