The Places My Silence Lived

I used to fill the room with laughter,

not because I was happy—

but because silence knew too much.

🔴🔴🔴

Behind every smile was a door I never opened.

Behind every “I’m fine”

was a scream carefully folded

into polite small talk and busy hands.

🔴🔴🔴

People praised my strength.

They didn’t know I rehearsed it

in mirrors that never reflected how tired I was.

I became fluent in hiding—

hiding pain in productivity,

loneliness in kindness,

and sadness in songs I only played when no one was around.

🔴🔴🔴

There were nights

when I stared at the ceiling

and wondered how silence

could be louder than a crowd.

🔴🔴🔴

No one noticed when my light dimmed—

because I taught them how to love my brightness,

but not how to sit with my shadows.

🔴🔴🔴

I started writing letters

to the parts of me I had abandoned—

the child who believed love was enough,

the teen who mistook being needed for being wanted,

the adult who forgot how to rest.

🔴🔴🔴

And slowly,

I returned to myself—

not all at once,

but in whispers.

🔴🔴🔴

In warm tea.

In saying “no” without apology.

In deleting messages that made my heart feel smaller.

In the mirror, one morning, when I saw my eyes

and they didn’t look like strangers anymore.

🔴🔴🔴

Some wounds don’t close.

They become windows.

🔴🔴🔴

Now, I don’t rush to fill the silence.

I listen.

Because sometimes healing

sounds like nothing at all.

🔴🔴🔴

She carried worlds in her chest,

And still made space for herself.

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