The page?

I search for my reflection upon the page

I will do this many times a day

Attempting to find an answer as to why

Guidance from someone wiser I can rely

Maybe, the answers are written in the skies

Where is my reflection? Is this where it lies?

The answer’s are unclear

I wear the bearings of life my dear

The virgo she’s: Quiet, feminine and clean

So delightfully packaged, with adjectives that gleam.

Yet, I look around me and I don’t seem to fit

A spontaneous soul messy and clipped

Is this who I am or what’s on the page?

Maybe I once was before the storm ragged.

Before there was lighting and thunder and clouds

I was shook up when the rain poured down

Maybe I once was a pretty package that the virgin does bear

But here I am now with long wild hair

With scars on my flesh and strength in my soul

Such a fragile package doesn’t come off so bold

Yet, my heart is warm and my actions are kind

No matter what comes I take in my stride

A pretty young mess still soft within

Just bearing life’s gifts and embracing with whim

I search for guidance in so many ways

Whether it be in spirt, theatre or written on the page

Will the stars give me guidance? I do hope so

Then maybe we wouldn’t all feel so alone

Sometimes, the evidence is written right there

When I look at astrology

Often hard to bear

A site that I gaze upon quite confidently.

“That's me today!” I do exclaim

When it all goes wrong

I’ve got something to blame

It feels nice to be seen, if not on the page

The reassurance of how I feel

Enlightens my cage

Are the night skies guiding the seal ,

Am I in the right state of mind to deal

But how can it be when this prediction is so far?

Is it wrong to act accordingly, naive or un-smart?

To have my head in the clouds for so long

Maybe it’s easier than what’s previously gone

Rather than face the world as it is

Because sometimes ignorance is the best biz

Not to think about what has made me within

As the page isn’t my siamese twin.

My mother would hang the chart on the wall

I was so young I didn’t understand it at all

I just knew we were connected somehow to something much bigger

This belief helped as I watched her get thinner

Where were the answers when everyone was gone

Should I find them when I’m so forlorn

The universe, the skies and stars, just a dream

The God I knew out there did make it seem

Planting curiosity in us as to what may be above

That somehow it affects us deep in our hearts

This makes sense to me much more than a pretty box

Though it does feel nice to be seen, whether it’s truthful or not

My wardrobe is colourful, feminine with class

Though, my room is a mess

Searching in the glass

How pure or organised must I be

To fit the brief I pray for so desperately

There are traits I admire in what the page say’s:

Patient, kind, creative, smart

Though I wasn’t this way from the start

The reflection hones in on my mind

Yet, at times I Wonder

Do I follow led blind?

As the truth does frequently change

Periodically not there, it is quite strange

Have I messed up? Is this not my path?

Was there a plan right from the start?

What silly pressure that makes me think only of myself

There is much more out there than what the page sometimes sells.