The Non-Suicidal Depressive

The non-suicidal depressive doesn’t want to die,

they wish they never existed in the first place.

They have learned to keep the bleeding internal, to only cut with the insults they speak when they are curled up in the corner, wishing they grew smaller and smaller until they disappeared into their own cells. They envy people in comas because they understand the true moral of Sleeping Beauty is less about a man saving a woman than disappearing into the abyss until someone else solves the problems of the world. They never ask for help because it’s just ‘not that bad’, even though they are balancing on a blade that forces its way through their shoes, every day working closer and closer to skin. They sleep, breakdown, and wish to never exist because it is better than the alternative

becoming the suicidal depressive.