The Night I Lost Myself
Some losses don’t come with funerals. Some deaths happen silently — inside

The night I lost myself,
the sky was quiet —
too quiet.
Even the stars refused to blink.
I didn’t notice when it started.
It wasn’t a scream,
or a fall,
or a shattering of glass.
It was the absence of feeling.
Like someone dimmed the light inside me
and forgot to turn it back on.
I moved through rooms I once called home,
yet nothing felt like mine.
Pictures stared back blankly,
books didn’t remember my touch.
Even the mirror blinked —
and forgot who I was.
I whispered my name.
Not out loud,
just in my head —
but it echoed like a stranger’s.
I used to laugh in this room.
I used to cry,
dance barefoot on the floor,
burn toast and write letters I never sent.
Now it’s just walls and dust
and a version of me I no longer recognize.
Grief doesn’t always arrive in black.
Sometimes,
it wears the face you see in the mirror.
And healing?
It doesn’t come all at once.
It comes in breaths —
short, sharp, stolen.
It comes when the silence isn’t so loud.
When your reflection starts to blink again.
But that night,
I was gone.
And no one noticed —
not even me.
About the Creator
Jawad Ali
Thank you for stepping into my world of words.
I write between silence and scream where truth cuts and beauty bleeds. My stories don’t soothe; they scorch, then heal.
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