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The Monster of Aneh-ta

A Concrete- Epic

By Donna Fox (HKB)Published 2 months ago Updated 2 months ago 2 min read
9
The Monster of Aneh-ta
Photo by Dan Asaki on Unsplash

Leaving the Oracle’s temples, I pull my hood          up and rub the velvet ruby-red material      against my cheek. I wipe        the tears away as I sign to soothe                      my nerves and to kill the            beast that killed my fiancé. The                                                                     whisper of the oracle still lingers in my ears as I           march through the           woods in search of the labyrinth that holds the           Monster of Aneh-ta.                 Damien took on a quest himself to                      bring back the creature's         head but failed and, as a result,         lost his life. I refuse to face such a             fate myself, so now I march          with the sole intent of bringing back        the beast’s head and                     saving our noble city from its wrath.         As I get closer                to the labyrinth,             I hear the serenade            of the waterfall           that guards it. I              round the corner and        my jaw drops at the sight before me. I                                                              watch this modest waterfall cascade into the           small river below it. I expected a loud roaring presence but am met          by this peaceful place. It almost shakes my resolve to where I had to       fight not to turn around and go home. But at                                                                                  that moment, the sun shines         down on the clearing and I am                awash in this peaceful glow           that the sun’s warmth provides.             I raise my hands and embrace the      warm light with a sigh of soothing        calmness, and suddenly I feel a                                                                            weight drop into my hands. I open my eyes to find the legendary sword         or Swin in my hands. It                        glows with an                                         effervescence that brings me all        the courage I            need to do what I must. I mutter a few words of                                                  thanks to Athena as she strengthens my resolve.         Then begin to march toward the waterfall, prepared to face the                 enigma that is the Monster of Aneh-ta. The flickering torchlight                 allows my eyes to adjust               more easily as I enter the maze below                                                                  the waterfall, and I swallow the last of fear in preparation          for my coming battle. It appears the beast                                                         has been waiting for me as I round the first           corner and encounter it. Suddenly, the beast roars and my velvet hood          comes off as its green breath clouds my vision. In the blink of an eye, I          put my faith in Athena and she guides the sword to victory, killing the          monster of Aneh-ta and saving our city.

 

Authors Note:

I was trying something new here… An Epic which is supposed to be a poem that tells a heroic tale. And a Concrete which is a poem that is in a specific shape, so I tried to make this poem in the shape of a labyrinth.

I would also love any feedback that any of you have to offer regarding this piece.

**For those of you redaing this by phone, here is a screen shot of my poem to be a labyrinth shape:

heartbreakFree VerseFor Fun
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About the Creator

Donna Fox (HKB)

Thank you for your support and feedback! 💚💙💜

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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Comments (9)

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  • Real Poetic2 months ago

    This looks incredibly difficult to do, so I commend you for executing the shape of this poem so well! Amazing!

  • Oooo, when the sword dropped onto her hands, it reminded me of the Sword of Gryffindor! That was so cool! The word labyrinth didn't ring a bell. Then I saw serenade. Then cascade and that's when I realised this was for Randy's challenge! You're so brilliant! I'm reading this on my phone so the labyrinth didn't really take the shape that I think you intended it to. I'm so sorry D. Also, I didn't know what concrete poems were so I learned a new thing today! Your epic was epic and I freaking loved it!

  • Beautiful. I love it!

  • Mark Gagnon2 months ago

    If you hadn't told me it was a poem I would never have known. Snuck one by me you little devil you! The structure is unique and I could see the walls forming as I continued to read along. Interesting concept!

  • Thavien Yliaster2 months ago

    It reminds me of iambic pentameter. Like, think about a lot of Shakespeare's works such as Macbeth. I wonder how differently it looks on a computer screen than a phone screen. I know some people organize their words to take artistic shapes. I was wondering if there's a hidden message in this labyrinth of a poem.

  • Liam Storm2 months ago

    Amazing work! It's clear you spent time on this piece, a great read!

  • Hannah Moore2 months ago

    I confess I dont know what a concrete poem is, but it reads more like prose than a poem?

  • Alex H Mittelman 2 months ago

    Nice! Reads like a TOR fantasy! Great work!

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