The lucky ones…continued.

You wake up one day, and you are a lucky one.

The heavens have opened up and the warmth of the sunshine falls upon your skin. You close your eyes and feel it through your eye lids.

Breathe.

In this perfect place of safety and new-found purpose, a storm sweeps in, unapologetically, without end in sight, thrashing the once tranquil sea around you. Suddenly the water is opaque, filled with uncertainty and turmoil. So is your heart. Where did the sunshine go?

You yearn for the stability, the connection, the purpose, the dreams, the safety. You yearn for the kiss on your forehead and hand on your chest to remind you that the world is indeed okay. That you are okay. That you will be okay.

Try to breathe.

The waves keep slamming onto you every time you come up for air. It’s impossible to breathe.

You close your eyes, waiting to wake up. It could just be a dream. A dreadful dream that is yearning to end.

Can’t wake up. Can’t wake up. Can’t wake up.

You stare at yourself, in a seemingly different reality. Your hair is glistening in the sun, catching all the different colors of the sunrise. Your skin is warm. Your toenails are a lovely shade of crimson red.

You can breathe again.

The storm starts to wean. The waters are settling - so is the debris. Birds begin to fly again in the distance.

You realise it was never the storm that tried to drown you, it was your mind.

You settle into yourself again, looking at your crimson toes. ”Where have you been?”

“I was battling my demons. Looking back into pieces of myself I had forgotten about. Reweaving the stories of my past, the ones too painful to talk about.“

There’s the kiss on the forehead again. There’s the hand on your chest. The sunshine on your eyelids.

Sometimes you think you’ve lost something, when really it’s just been muddled in the rubble.

You are, indeed, a very lucky one.